Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
