when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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