You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I want to fling myself into the sun
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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