Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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