so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
love makes seman taste better
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize