i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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