Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize