I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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