Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
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I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
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I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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