one might say we're banned from that church
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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