In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
