what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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