Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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