he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
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