i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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