It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
