i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
love makes seman taste better
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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