i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
