also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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