these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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