nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
