kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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