As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
