I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
