Will you blow on my dice?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
