turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
