Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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