I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
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Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
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wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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