i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
