that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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