Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
