Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
