And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
