You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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