ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
