First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Everyone says I win the strip club
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
