even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Couch. On fire.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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