i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
