BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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