the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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