I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
