Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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