So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
