I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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