a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
