Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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