but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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