i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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