Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize