Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize