oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
