She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
