Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
