He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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