I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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