Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
