i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
