i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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