Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
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he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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