we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
When did angry sex become our thing?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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